If I Should Die Before I Wake

As a child, this was always so frightening to say as I was ready to be alone in a dark room for hours.  I would be unable to sleep sometimes and worry about dying.  Years and years later, this prayer has come to mind as I prepare to go to bed and I feel as if I may actually die.  I pray that I won't, I pray that I will be able to contact 911, I pray that I will survive and I pray for the strength for God to help me to eat better, exercise more and live a much healthier lifestyle.  I have an author/minister friend Patricia A. Thomas who made me feel so good during one of our conversations.  I was telling her about some of the things I struggle with and that I worry I have let God down.  Her response, "He knows we are a mess".  That was comforting.  Still though, we have to never stop trying to be the best we can be.

I should go and get checked out since I am worrying about dying at my fairly young age, but eeek.  Do we really want to know?  What if I need surgery?  I have never had to stay in the hospital overnight.  Who will hold onto my purse?

For those of you trying to recall the entire Children's Bedtime Prayer that starts with:  Now I lay me down to sleep, search for it at www.google.com and you will find it.  I do not have permission to use if that is required by the author.  You can also find it in these things called books at your local library.  It is actually a sweet little prayer.  Much more structured than how I pray to God as an adult.